Why So Serious?

Lucas Glover has eliminated emotion from the game of golf. He also pissed off alot of New Yorkers, which is often frowned upon.

Glover makes Tiger's general golf course demeanor look almost sunny. Most commentators familiar with Glover seemed all but shocked by his smile when he received the US Open trophy. Glover's two stroke margin of victory really hides what was a great and dramatic round of golf culminating in a three hole stretch that could rival the greatest in recent major history. If I had the power of DVR or a working VCR (What's a VCR?) I would do one of those retrodiaries but instead I'll do anapproximate tale of my trip down the back nine of Bethpage Black on Championship Monday.

The front nine was a story of following the leaders (Note: Ricky Barnes either has a hot girlfriend, or hot stalker who followed him around) and rooting for them to choke. They were kind enough to oblige and despite very players posting any type of red numbers (I think at the turn of the Barnes and Glover it was Tiger Woods, Ross Fisher and Hunter Mahan), they came back to the field and built some drama. The best moment of the front nine had to be watching Glover and Barnes have fits with the long seventh and hearing the roar around the bend when David Duval rolled in a putt estimated at around 60-80 feet for birdie. Epic roar. Oh, it should be noted that for this round we acquired XM/Sirius Radio earpieces the had play-by-play in realtime of what we were watching. It did add something and help us make hole decisions later. I did however have a small bout with traditionalism when watching the overall reaction of the changing numbers on the leaderboards, however I got over it.

As we watched the leaders tee off at 10, an interesting fulcrum of the course that puts the 10th tee, 11th green and 12th tee within 30 yards we could hear on the radio and in the clamor of tha galleries that Phil Mickelson had put his 2nd at the 13th within 5 feet for eagle and a chance to get within a shot of the lead. We immediatly sprinted up the fairway and were at the green to see Mickelson hole out for the double circle on the scorecard. Well be see I mean lean awkwardly around a camera stand and see mostly grandstand, half of a caddy and what appeared to be Hunter Mahan's left leg, but hey, we were there. I'd like to say I've never been a big fan of Phil for whatever reason, maybe it was the tryout with the Toledo Mudhens, but the atmosphere surrounding him was electric and just fun to be a part of. I really couldn't help but root for him.

We then traveled with the throng and wedged our way into a crowd on the par-3 14th and saw some quite unspectactular pars before joining what could only be described as a powerful mass of humanity heading back across the road to what may be the four greatest finishing holes in golf, none more intimidating than the uphill, dogleg-left, 460-yard par-4 15th.

After standing in the middle of all the action and constantly being moved by "security" so the golfers could get to the 17th tee we were able to see tee shots off of 15, approach shots into 16, and 17 in its entirety, though the massive gallery would be responsible for telling exactly when and if the putt hit the bottom of the cup. That was when the greatest, and yet most depressing 4 holes of golf unfolded.

We heard the groan as Phil bogeyed 15, but hey he was still at 3-under and definitely in it. Then Hunter Mahan (who looks like the rock and roll/delivery guy from Accepted with his grimy beard and shade. If you know that movie, you know who I mean. Too bad I can't find a picture) hit a nearly perfect shot thatwas going right at the cup, and instead of either dropping or coming within 5 feet for birdie, kicked off the pin and off the green where Mahan would take three shots to get down from. A two or three shot swing that probably hurt just as much mentally. That comes close, he has a legitmate chance to win the US Open.

As we leave to head up 17 and 18 for Phil (I fought to see Duval's birdie putt on 16 as I may be one of the few people who actually like him) Duval drained his third birdie in as many holes to climb back to 3-under and tie for the lead of the US Open with two to play. He started his day making a triple on the third hole which I had once parred from similar distances and now had a T1 next to his name on the leaderboard. Would you ever have believed that a week ago? Doubtful if you actaully said yes. Then as Phil just missed his par and dropped to just 2-under we heard Lucas Glover drop in his birdie on 16. At that point, with Duval off the green at 17, I knew, Glover had just clinched the US Open, still I hoped it wasn't true.

The golfers with interesting storylines tried their best. Duval went around the entire hole before missing his par on 17 to put pressure on Glover. Phil had an uncharactoristicly pedestrian wedge into the green on 18 after a phenomenal drive then nearly holed out his bird from over 30 feet to get within one of Glover. But it wasn't meant to be. Ricky Barnes did what he was supposed to and choked away 9 strokes off his lowest score of the week (he did fall one short of a prediction of -1 fielded by one of my friends when he hit -11) and Phil and David took their T2 which both have seen plenty of in the past and were forced to watch Glover do what I guess has to be considered a celebration.

After three mud-covered days, the result may not have been ideal and Glover may be destined to join the the Rich Beems of the world, but the way we got their was fun. And without the 2009 US Open, who would still care about a fat, minimally skilled David Duval? Oh that's right, I guess I still would.