It's Over....maybe

Brett Favre retired today. That's really nice, because it's been a while since I heard about that guy. He plays quarterback right? Or does he just wear wrangler jeans and drive a pickup? I just can't be sure anymore.


In other news at the top of the hour on Sportscenter, Roy Halladay has NOT been traded, no new offers have materialized and he did not pitch today. More to come on this breaking story...

Deja Vue All Over Again

Mark Buehrle is known for his consistency and making quick work of opponents. Eric Cooper (whom wikipedia tells me wears the same number as Buehrle, 56...freaky) must now also be considered a monster of consistency. Cooper was the plate umpire for both of of Buerhle's no-hitters. Crazy right, his zone must be perfect for Mark. BUT WAIT! There's more! Both games lasted a paltry 2 hours, 3 minutes with the minimum number of batters faced.

As with many no hitters, Buehrle's will be remembered for the one remarkable highlight reel defensive play made to preserve it. DeWayne "Don't call me Dwayne" Wise robbed Gabe Kapler of a soul crushing home run to lead-off the ninth, making Kapler into a small trivia footnote on the game. As the announcer called it, one of the greatest catches he'd ever seen...under the circumstances.

Lets be honest, it was a greaaattt catch. Fan-tastic. Phe-nominal. Mag-nanimous. But if Kapler hits that in an 8-4 game six innings earlier, does anyone other than John Kruk really notice? Maybe, but they probably don't care. It's all about the situation. As far as pure greatness of catches go, I'd argue Jim Edmonds has a half dozen catches that are more spectatular than Willie Mays catch if you are looking at them in a vacuum. Some might point out the jump Mays got on the ball and the quick throw, I know, I know. I hold Willie Mays to very high esteem, even though he's Barry Bonds' godfather, but that catch was made greater by the fact it was in the World Series, in a tie game, in the 8th, on a ball that would have been out of 9 of 10 ballparks. Edmonds has a few choice plays in big situations, but on a grand scale they are largely meaningless.

One of the better football catches I've seen belongs to Aaron Moorehead when he was on the Colts. Great, except it was from Jim Sorgi in the preseason, home of corners who already have been kicked off "4th and Long." I've seen Brian Giles pull a ball pack from three rows deep in the left field stands. Problem was, it was for the Pirates and the year wasn't 1991, so nobody cared. Sport's aren't played in a vacuum. Wise's catch, though not on the scale of Mays', came at a big moment and allowed history to happen. We all know baseball fans are suckers for history. He was a defensive replacement who saved a perfect game in the ninth inning. He even added the bobble for style points.

Stuart's Little Goal

So I missed ANOTHER USA Soccer game. Two actually. This time though, it's honestly not my fault. You can blame James Dolan. As a New York sports fan I often find myself doing that very same thing. He trades for a permanently concussed Eric Lindros (think Blake Griffin on skates, but not in a Manute Bol way), refuses to fire Isiah Thomas after, well, I mean, you're better of reading this:

March 2004 - Thomas refuses to sign renewal-request letters sent out to past season-ticket holders and tells Anucha Browne Sanders, "Bitch, I don't give a f--- about these white people."

And that was over 18 months before he had a sexual assault charge filed against him by the same woman. Well Dolan was behind that man holding on to one the the NBA's highest profile jobs, but his worst thing in my eye is what his day job, as head of Cablevision, does to my sports viewing. I have many qualms with the company, but frankly I just know you don't care, except that I was relegated to watching the third game of US Soccer's Gold Cup run on my computer. In Spanish. From a ghetto stream. And it was awesome.

Though I only saw the last 20 minutes of the game it was worth the many moments where I was lost in translation. I couldn't understand that the announcers were saying the word "ball" for about 15 minutes, but hey, the word goal is the same, plus their announcers take JP Dellacamera to school when the ball finds the back of the net. I kept tabs of the score before I tuned in and when the US was up 1-0 despite having some of their best training in Europe and was giving all the backups from a team already regarded as the National "C" team a chance to start, it looked over. I mean to be perfectly honest, Haiti just isn't that good.

Regardless of skill, four minutes after the break Haiti was up 2-1. I simply had to watch now. Tuning in at such a late stage, it was still clear that the US dominated, but they just didn't have what it took to finish. Suddenly, with the game at the behest of the referee and the clock ticking down (or up, crazy soccer clock rules!), the MLS' own Stuart Holden struck an absolutely killer shot that gave the keeper no chance on its way to the upper 90.

Goal. Or should I say, GOOOAL, GOOOAL, GOOOAL, GOOOAL, GOOOAL, GOOOAL...yeah, that just happened.

Despite meaning relatively little as a USA vs. Mexico Gold Cup Final is virtually assured, it gave me promise that maybe, just maybe, Holden could be the guy to unseat my least favorite US National teamer, Sacha Kljestan. Replace Kjlestan's Sasha Vujacic-esque head band with some sweet spike/bleached hair. It takes a real man to frost his tips.

Though Holden did try to silence the home crowd after his tying goal. I mean the game is in Foxboro, Massachusetts. I'm pretty sure Boston is not run amok with Haitians, so its safe to assume silence was not actually what he wanted. Let's hope he's just warming up for his antics in South Africa.

Daniel Murphy's Law

The Met's suck. I think I just have to admit it. I've already endured multiple jokes from friends about following a minor league baseball team, and, well actually that's just about it. My friends apparently aren't too original with their insults after they find one they like.

Well regardless of the comedic genious of 20-year-old Yankee fans, the Met's season hit an all time low last night. Sportscenter ran their usual "Not Top 10 Plays" and the realization set in. Now appearing in this countdown is embaressing yes, but lets be honest, it happens. Everyone awkwardly flubs a grounder, or trips over their own feet, but this countdown was different. The Met's didn't just find one of their lowlights in the Top 10. They didn't even have two or three, that would be far too kind. No the New York Metrapolatins had their very own "Not Top 10" dedicated to their ineptitude. The young Mr. Daniel Murphy making errors at multiple positions, but at least he didn't botch a 3-2-1 double play like defensive replacement Jeremy Reed when he airmailed a 75 foot throw. That's not to say he didn't try, botching 3 of the Top 10 himself!

The one saving grace is this countries copyright laws as the video of this countdown has vanished into an underground cavern somewhere in the bustling Metropolis that is Bristol, Connecticut. It has been removed from everywhere I could look without finding myself on a government watchlist, and I can't say I'm too torn up about it. Still, just knowing it happened might be bad enough.

I thought an low had been reached when a celebration had already been started at the end of the first Yankee/Met game as a "harmless" pop-up floated over to Luis Castillo with two outs in the ninth. Then it drifted. And it drifted some more. Suddenly, it was clanging as much as leather-on-leather can clang (insert bizzare bondage joke here), off the heel of Castillo's glove and to the ground as two Yankee runs crossed home plate changing a one run lead and a gaurenteed win into a written in the books one run loss for the Mets. Ouch, now that hurt.

Castillo will recover. Murphy will hopefully figure it out, Maybe First Base IS the answer. But just knowing that the material is there for that top 10, and it's NOT a stretch...Welcome to beautiful Citi Field, home of the Binghamton Mets!

G is for Gluttony

What could be a more American spectacle than large, beer drinkin' dudes slammin' back massive quantities of Nathan's hot dogs? Oh, that's right, it's much more American to have the smaller more efficient Japanese version come in a do the twice as well.

When Kobayashi came on and doubled the previous record, it was on. Kobayashi was in and guys nicknamed Badlands Cookie were on their way out. Nathan's had lucked into a cash cow only America and the Fourth of July could produce and out of nowhere, people cared about competitive eating. Suddenly some distant cousin of fame got the the Japanese wonders head. He suddenly became jacked and decided he could stomach just that many more hot dogs if his hair looked like something Bjork would wear to the Grammy's. Suddenly hear comes Joey Chestnut.
On July 4, 2007, America reclaimed the title belt. Chestnut has beaten Kobayashi! The announcers treated it like such a event that it required it's own holiday, seperate from that of America's independence. It was refered to as "the greatest event in sport's history," and Joey Chestnut was described as "a true American hero."

That was when competitive eating really took off. I even found myself watching the World Series of Competitive Eating, broadcast from where else but Las Vegas. Then, even after a more legendary showing that saw the two titans embroiled in an "eat-off," it hit me, wow these guys are just freaks. Maybe it came when I myself entered an eating competition and downed six dogs. One of my friends took the 6th dog to the last bite before a "reversal of fortune" cost him. That was half a dozen dogs. Now imagine that....plus 60. In 10 minutes. Gross right?

Nevermind, that just sounds delicious...